I think, health wise Im better than one year ago, but unstable.
It was worse before i started working with my current therapist (and before I started to take probiotics- I belive most people with mental problems have a fucked up digestive system microflora) but I was stable.
Now Im better but unstable, so this means a risk of relapse.
I think I should focus on stabilizing myself, but Im not sure what I should do, as I do everything I could think of to get better.
Il stay a while in the hospital in Cracovia for therapy. I think its a bit risky, because traveling and setting in a new place is stresfull, also I dont have the greatest history with hospitals.
I also went to a herbal medicine doc, and she wants to do a acupuncture sessions with me. Im all for it, as its working precisely with the nervous system, so the core of the problem.
But its also hard, as the herbal medicine/acupuncture, meridians etc reminds me of the shit my father did, and I get literal headaches just of thinking about it.
I think I’ll go to Cracovia, and when Im back I’ll go to the sessions.
I wanted to reply to the bullshit about “Hitler making up Jews beeing another race to get away with killing them, so it wasnt racism!” But I think I cant word myself precise enought in english.
While I understand that you cant be racist towards white people in America (because of its history and system etc) Im a bit tired of the American perspective.
I made some errands for The Great Travel to Cracovia.
I bought dried bananas and 90% cocoa chocolate, as I dont trust one fuck the hospital food. Ill take some spices with me (tumeric, ginger, cinnamon) green tea, some herbal teas, honey and probiotics.
Maybe a small bottle of olive oil if I have enough money.
I think its terrible I wont have acess to a kitchen for two weeks, and then for a whole half year!
By bodys really weak becouse of the problems with my nervous system. But thanks to experiments in the kitchen and a lot of research I didnt have a cold nor the flu for a long time. And I want it to stay like this.
I need to buy chocolate tomorrow. the 90% coca kind.